I'm afraid of bridges and not metaphorically. When I cross a bridge on foot, I'm terrified I'll throw something off. Something I need. Keys. Phone. Social security card. Shoes. I have never pitched anything over the side of a bridge. I have no reason to believe I will ever throw anything I need off the side of a bridge. I still get afraid. Every time.
Like bridges, I'm afraid of sitting in a theater when the actors on stage are totally silent. For that moment, I think,
"Yell! Yell, really loud."
"Don't yell!" I tell myself.
"C'mon. Yell. Everyone will look at you."
"Don't yell! Nobody wants to look at you."
"Make a big scene! Fill the silence."
"Stop thinking that."
"All these people will think about you all night."
"That's an awful idea. The worst one."
"Some might remember you after they have forgotten the play"
The actor speaks, and my mind is silenced. Until, again.
I dropped my keys on the floor of the theater, once.
It made a loud noise. I didn't notice anybody notice.
It'd make a big noise if I threw myself off a bridge,
but that seems impractical.
kmc
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Wednesday
We didn't have anything to get clean.
So we just went to sleep on top of the comforter. Not touching.
In the morning, we left the hotel room completely undisturbed.
No evidence at all.
So we just went to sleep on top of the comforter. Not touching.
In the morning, we left the hotel room completely undisturbed.
No evidence at all.
No More War!!!
Things That Are Stupid:
War
People
Things That Are Not Stupid:
Fashion Shows
Choreography
Red Jheri Curl Wigs
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Tuesday
My mother's pet zombie wouldn't leave me alone. I told her and told her please. Get
him away from me. I think he wants to bite me. (At the time it did not occur to me that he wanted to eat my brains, but that seems somewhat obvious in retrospect) Please, I said please. Please, get him. Please. The zombie kept doing. She kept doing nothing and nothing. And I kept avoiding, desperately. The fact I was dreaming never occurred to me, even after I woke up. It was only after I realized I had nothing be afraid of, that I figured out a part of me had made up everything I thought was so awful. After that, the day progressed normally. Except I drank some coffee and I don't usually do that.
kmc
him away from me. I think he wants to bite me. (At the time it did not occur to me that he wanted to eat my brains, but that seems somewhat obvious in retrospect) Please, I said please. Please, get him. Please. The zombie kept doing. She kept doing nothing and nothing. And I kept avoiding, desperately. The fact I was dreaming never occurred to me, even after I woke up. It was only after I realized I had nothing be afraid of, that I figured out a part of me had made up everything I thought was so awful. After that, the day progressed normally. Except I drank some coffee and I don't usually do that.
kmc
Monday
A Storm in December and Falling in Love.
I forgot what lighting was.
The thunder was worse.
What was that-I thought-
the world had ripped itself apart.
A sad attempt at poetry,
failed melodrama.
But I thought it. Then remembered
What it was.
Should of been
snowing.
I thought the other, would feel
like explosions. Like crackle and fizz.
It doesn't. It feels like
old shoes I'll never throw away.
Perfect pair perfectly paired with my pathetically
unspectacular, gnarled feet.
The return
of snow
brought no surprises.
kmc
I forgot what lighting was.
The thunder was worse.
What was that-I thought-
the world had ripped itself apart.
A sad attempt at poetry,
failed melodrama.
But I thought it. Then remembered
What it was.
Should of been
snowing.
I thought the other, would feel
like explosions. Like crackle and fizz.
It doesn't. It feels like
old shoes I'll never throw away.
Perfect pair perfectly paired with my pathetically
unspectacular, gnarled feet.
The return
of snow
brought no surprises.
kmc
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