Wednesday

I dreamed of crop circles. Even in my dream I knew they were fake.


kmc

Thursday

Today might be a big day.

When I pay my credit card bill on-line... the automated system says "Congratulations!" I didn't win anything. I just made a payment. In fact. That's the opposite of winning. Though... every time... it makes me feel a little bit of joy. "Congratulations! You just paid off that DVD you bought three years ago! The one you bought because it was on sale but in the end it cost you more than three times the normal price!" "Congratulations! You just paid off the clothes you no longer fit into!" "Congratulations! You're a functioning adult!" "Congratulations! You survived to pay one more bill!"

Today might be a big day.


kmc

Wendesday too

Anne Boleyn says: They say Mary wore a red dress to her execution, but her head fell off the same as all the others. Of course that was after me, I've only heard.

Wednesday

Banana.
Beans.
Different color beans.
Peanut butter and jam.
Butter on bread.
Diet ginger ale.
Not even hungry.

Not a lady.

I don't feel bad for gay people who kill themselves.
I don't feel bad for anyone who kills themselves.
It's sad, and unfortunate.
But I don't feel bad for them.
King Jeremy the Wicked
Ruled his world.
Jeremy spoke...

Four friends in one day. Excellent.
Excellent seems to be my word of the moment.

Now that...

I sort of understand how this works, expect further remodeling.


kmc

Today's Best Thing

I watched it this morning. I also saw it a few years ago. You should watch it too. You don't have to watch it twice.

Tuesday

I am the Duchess of Malfi.
I am trying to figure out how to sleep and not exacerbate my ridiculous shoulder injury.
I am missing my friends that deserved to be missed.
I am not missing my friends that deserve to be missing.
I am missing the people I never got to know.
I am trying to find my Art Institute membership card.
I am Daniel de Bosola. Either way
I am not surviving the whole play.
I am trying to get my car out of the mud.
I am the thing.
I am colder than is prudent, but
I am not uncomfortable.
I am not reading The House of the Seven Gables.
I am not reading millions of books right night but I should be reading The House of the Seven Gables.

I was making a list. That is all
ye know on earth and all
ye need to know.


O,
I am gone!
We are only like dead walls, or vaulted graves,
That ruin'd, yield no echo. Fare you well.
It may be pain, but no harm to me to die
In so good a quarrel.
O,
this gloomy world!
In what a shadow, or deep pit of darkness,
Doth womanish and fearful mankind live!
Let worthy minds ne'er stagger in distrust
To suffer death or shame for what is just:
Mine is another voyage.

Monday

A lady at work, her train had really lost the track. I shrugged and said "It's monday" in an apologetically silly voice. She narrowed her eyes and said "It's always." Her ice killed my jokey demeanor, and we stared at each other for a long time. She didn't say goodbye. I didn't either.




"I believe in the good of life"

That's just a song lyric I thought I'd post. Realistically, the jury's still out.

Tuesday-Tuesday

Wednesday

A hug. A think. Is all.



kmc

Tuesday

Really? All that for only that? I must learn to calm myself.
The only way to celebrate is with the blackness of Nick Cave.

Monday

Because Fado is how I feel.








Chuva (Rain)

The ordinary events in our lives
Do not fill us with longing;
Not so those memories that hurt
Or those that bloom into a smile.

Some people are our history,
The history of our lives;
There are others whose name
We not recall ever hearing.

Such are the feelings
That keep alive my longing,
The feelings we shared
And withered in the end.

There are days that scar
One's soul and life,
This is why I cannot forget
The day you left me.

The rain drenched
My cold and tired face
In the streets of a city
I had aimlessly walked.

Ah! ...Like a girl gone astray
My cry rang across the city:
How quick does the fire of love
Dies in the rain!

The rain heard me and kept
To herself my secret in that city
Where she taps on the window,
Filling me with longing.

Saturday

Deep sighs.

Tuesday

Japanese lunch. Hungry immediately after.

Love you. Love you. Will miss you so much. So much. And your silver shoes. Like Dorothy's... before they changed it for the movie.

I can taste a tiny of happiness. Will it become a meal?

Tomorrow... on the plane. To the place. Never coming home. Until Sunday.

kmc

Vestige

a degenerate or imperfectly developed organ or structure that has little or no utility, but that in an earlier stageof the individual or in preceding evolutionary forms of the organism performed a useful function.

This Week's Best Thing

This Week's Worst Thing

Monday

The start of the finish.

Las Vegas is gross.

I think when people you like act like they don't know you... or don't see you... I think that's the worst thing. The absolute worst thing.

kmc

This Week's Best Thing

Sunday

The sane sibling is always the one committing the killings. That particular plot twist has lost its punch.

If someone tries to sneak in my temporary room at night to try to kill me in an attempt to steal my inheritance... I've hidden a bottle of 409 by the door. I will spray them in the eyes. I will kick them in the face. I will wait for relatives to die... so I can claim my inheritance for myself... thank you very much.

kmc

Saturday

I hope somebody tells you how beautiful you are. One day. I'm sure someone will. I hope you believe them. You won't. I know you won't. But I hope that, it crosses your mind... once or twice... "Maybe he means it... Maybe I am..." You'll dismiss it eventually... but I hope... that you let it linger... long enough for you to enjoy it.

This house is too big for two people. This state is too big for 6451584165498651654654642 people. It's all too big for me. Even this room. The ceiling is too high. My thoughts float up, up, up, and out of my reach.

Books, books, books. Books, books, books. Books, books, books.

Got lost. Always. Lost.

kmc

Friday

"Delicious hamburgers. So small. Too expensive. And we shan't have another. But we can have all the diet coke we'd like. But we don't want any. But we drink it all the same." - Samuel Beckett writes the dialogue for my first meal in Texas.

kmc

Blog Bummer

I was in Texas and couldn't blog.

Ima try to post some retro-active blogs.

kmc

Thursday

March 18th.

Existed.

Existing.

Still Exist.

Check back next year to see if that's changed.

kmc

Wedensday

I won.

Ate a warm hug. Apparently, it doesn't come with dessert anymore.

Even in pajamas... fabulous.

That's not how much it costs, sir, the sign was wrong. No. The sign was wrong. No. It's the wrong sign. Sure. I'll take the five dollars off. It was the sign, not the person. The sign was wrong. It is wrong. The sign. Does it matter?

Hitting the road soon.

kmc

Tuesday

War.

Sunday

All I am is the pain that throbs. Throb, throbs, throbbed, throbbing. My wisdom teeth are lacking wisdom but suggesting conjugation. At this moment, there is no me beyond my teeth.

Sleep. Please call. I miss you. And I'd like to give you back your things.

More like Poo-lie and Poo-lia.

I'm making a promise to myself not be attracted to anyone I don't want to have a conversation with.

Shamrock Shake-

I missed you.

Shamrock Shake-

I love you.

Shamrock Shake-

I can't be without you.

Shamrock Shake-

I drank you this weekend and I vomited you up and you got on my shoe, which is really a suede boot and I'm not sure how that's gonna come off and I really didn't want them but now I like them and don't want stains on them, and now I'm rethinking our relationship.

Shamrock Shake-

I'm going to miss you.

kmc

Saturday

Road trip. I'm excited by farmland. I like to stare.

Uncle Vanya was marvelous. Better than best.

Lots of walking.

What I Saw As We Were Passing

A red farmhouse;

A red that has stuck

Despite unending

Attacks on its integrity.

A red farmhouse

Surrounded by dead crops

Made golden by the

End of the sun's shift.

A storm takes its

Place in the night sky--

Dark blue, ominous,

Promising. Around the farmhouse

It's nothing forever.

Nothing and nothing and

On and on and on.

The red and nothing

Will never yield.

Poetry on blogs is lame.

That's not really a poem.

Line breaks emphasized my thoughts better.

kmc

Monday

Deep, deep underground I found myself face to face with a physical manifestation of all of my failures. I shrugged. I survived.

Things aren't getting any easier. I guess I should stop expecting them to.

Concert, lovely. Long.

I miss the people I don't see.

Craving asian buffet. Needed desperately.

kmc

Sunday

Spent the evening with a group of normal people. I think it went well. I don't think anyone noticed I didn't belong. I still felt like an impostor. It was enormous fun.

Burnt my mouth on a shitty spring roll. Shitty because it tasted awful, not because of its unkind actions toward my mouth. Though... that too.

I like The Hurt Locker immensely... but it doesn't really feel like BEST picture... does it? But... WOO... give it up for ladies!

I think it's awful that there was a movie about a poor, African-American youth who attempts to pull herself out of difficult circumstances... and a movie about a poor, African-American youth who needs a white lady to pull himself out of his difficult circumstances... and that the white lady wins the Oscar. But what a good movie The Blindside would have been in 1976.

What I keep under my bed... tempts me every night.

I won't. I won't. I won't.

To be the most. To anyone.

That would be nice.

kmc

This Week's Best Thing

Saturday

Ate lots of pork.

Saw the show.

There's a lot of sugar in that! A lot of sugar.

Shut up, Naperville.

You're the best Alyssa I know.

Touched inappropriately.

kmc

Empty Blog

Thursday

Lovely lunch. But, I was given the early cancelation.

Sigh. I do so love it when our lunches go to series.

Dinner : feisty.

Not fun-feisty. Analrape-feisty.

Not fun-analrape. Awful-analrape.

On the way home; got lost.

Drove in a circle. Again and again.

Such is life.

kmc

Thursday Afternoon

In the bathroom, I thought my pee smelled like poo.
Then I noticed the pile of poo on the floor next to the toilet.

kmc

Wednesday

I must stop engaging in magical thinking.

Or get much better at casting spells.

Robert Moussetis, your e-mails are not important enough to be marked urgent.

School- eh.

Work- ack!

Looking forward to no school.

Texas.

Getting rejected one last time.

kmc

This Week's Best Thing

Tuesday

Problems?

Eh.

More than welcome.

Not more than I can handle.

kmc

Wednesday

School. Macbeth and Clarissa. Meeting of the fractured minds.

Worked. Yes sir, I understand. You still cannot return your video game.

Snow. Horrible. Many cars dead and abandoned.

Thumbs down to weird, painful, unidentified thumb injury.

2:30AM. Snow plows and scary people yelling outside. The Songs Suburbia Sings.

kmc

Tuesday

School. Nothing to report.

Neil Gaiman. Reading was not boring, a remarkable feat. It's amazing how Neil Gaiman fans are exactly who they are... and never disappoint expectations.

Fish and Chips. The day's best thing. Marvelous.


kmc

This Week's Best Thing.

Monday

Today, I've found myself listening to various covers of "Let It Be" and "The Greatest Love of All."

This cannot mean anything good.

School.

Subway. Again. What's that all about.

Can't seem to catch a break.

Nobody within reach.

kmc

Sunday

Feeling apart.

Goodman: O'Neill & Beckett. Remarkable.

Snow: Wet, Thick & Everywhere. Awful

Hungry, hungry hippos.

I want someone to answer my questions. Even with lies. Answers of any kind.

It seems, I'm peeling apart at the seams.

kmc

Friday

Left school early. Didn't feel well. Just didn't want to.

I like Subway now? Gross.

Cannot sleep like a normal person.

The Olympics=Lovely.

How do you maintain humanity on a large scale?

Tooth ache. TOOTH ACHE!

kmc

This Week's Best Thing

Links

http://www.literature-map.com/

http://chatroulette.com/

Judy Sings America. Thanks B.

I'm not sure if I've ever felt more patriotic.

In this video, she is neither African-American nor is she sober... two requirements I had

foolishly thought necessary.

Thursday

Cannot sleep through the night. Today. My mother and the snow. Yesterday. The world fell over. Tomorrow. Who knows how and why.

Alexander McQueen. The world of horrifyingly uncomfortable shoes has lost their monarch. The gay world weeps. The straight world shrugs. To matter so much and not at all.

Worked today. No love. No love lost. Odd vomit/poo stain still where it was yesterday.

Cherry Coke Zero. You are our hero.

Lost the contest. I think.

“I went back into the house and wrote, It is midnight. The rain is beating on the windows. It was not midnight. It was not raining” (Beckett 170).

kmc

Wednesday

Who knew female homoerotics could be so boring.

Face. Fully covered in large acne colonies.

With a few delightful exceptions, sweatpants without underwear is a bad, bad, bad, bad idea.

Earthquake, or The Gods Must Be Gassy.

Working. Working. Working. Love unrequited. Funny, mostly.

I ate five Arby's roast beef sandwiches over the course of the whole day. Only $6. I felt like I had to vomit. I vomited.

Syracuse? Probably not.

Everybody else? Probably who knows?

Entered a contest.

Like my new friends. Miss my old friends.

kmc

Iowa-Question and Answer

Describe any additional preparation for graduate work which you have done independently, e.g. extensive travel, reading projects of your own, or special interests like photography, arts, sports, and crafts.

Extensive farting. Buffets. Acne. Kitsch.

I want to live in the tomorrow of yesterday!